External Processors; for Those Who Need to Speak to Understand

If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably experienced that moment where your thoughts start to spill out of your mouth before you’ve had time to organise them. It’s not just rambling—it’s a vital part of how we make sense of the world. As an external processor, I have to get it out. I need to speak my thoughts aloud, sometimes faster than I can even keep up with them, and only then do I start to understand what I actually think and feel.

As a coach, I’ve come to realise that having a coach of my own is one of the most important tools in helping me navigate my own thinking. Not just because it provides me with guidance, but because it gives me the space to speak freely, process, and ultimately grow.

Why External Processing Matters

External processing isn’t just a quirky habit—it’s how some of us think. For those of us who process externally, words are like scaffolding that hold our ideas together. Without getting them out, we feel mentally congested, as if the ideas are jumbled and disconnected. Speaking helps me untangle the knots in my head and see things clearly.

It’s a fast-paced, dynamic way of understanding the world. When I verbalise, I start to see patterns I hadn’t noticed, adjust my perspective, and even change my mind as I hear myself speak. This isn’t just about getting my ideas across; it’s about having a deeper understanding of them in the process.

The Role of a Coach for External Processors

Now, here’s where a coach comes in. Having a coach isn’t just helpful for setting goals or creating action plans—it’s essential when you’re someone who needs to process aloud. A coach offers the space to talk through things in a safe, structured way, helping you channel your thoughts and ideas into clarity. Here’s why that’s so crucial for those like us:

  1. A Coach Creates a Non-Judgmental Space
    When you’re an external processor, you need to speak your mind without fear of judgement or interruption. A coach provides that space. They’re there to listen, not to judge or correct you prematurely. This freedom allows you to truly explore your thoughts without the pressure of having to filter or edit them before you even understand them.

  2. They Help You Connect the Dots
    Sometimes, the thoughts we’re processing don’t immediately make sense. A coach can help highlight connections we might have missed or point out patterns in our thinking. They don’t just listen—they actively help us make sense of what’s coming out of our mouths. Their questions and observations can guide us to the deeper understanding we’re seeking.

  3. Clarity Through Dialogue
    A good coach doesn’t just sit back passively; they ask the right questions that prompt further thinking. For an external processor, this dialogue is everything. Each question or observation from a coach helps us dive deeper, sift through the layers of what we’re really saying, and ultimately gain clarity. It’s like having someone hold up a mirror to our thoughts.

  4. Accountability to What We’ve Said
    When we speak things out loud, they become more real. A coach can hold us accountable to the things we’ve said, gently nudging us back to the commitments or insights we’ve voiced in the session. For someone who processes externally, this can be a powerful motivator to take action on what we’ve worked through.

  5. Building a Reflective Practice
    As a coach with a coach, I’ve learned that the reflective nature of coaching sessions is invaluable. By revisiting what I’ve said in past sessions, I’m able to see how my thinking has evolved. The process of external processing, combined with the reflection a coach provides, allows me to track my growth and see just how far I’ve come. It helps me assess where I was, where I am now, and where I want to go.

Why I’m a Coach with a Coach

Some people might wonder why a coach would need a coach. The answer is simple: because it works. No matter how skilled we are at helping others, we all have blind spots and areas where we need support. As an external processor, having a coach allows me to not only help my clients but also to better understand myself. It’s easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of thoughts and ideas that come from working with clients, and I need a safe space to untangle my own thoughts, too.

I’ve realised that it’s not just about having someone help me sort through my personal or professional dilemmas—it’s about gaining a deeper awareness of my own thought processes. I can’t do that in isolation. I need someone to listen, to ask the right questions, and to guide me in realising the value of my own words. It’s like having a sounding board that not only helps me refine my thoughts but also shows me how to improve as a coach.

In Conclusion: Why Speaking is Essential

For those of us who process externally, talking is a crucial part of understanding. We need to say things aloud, to get the jumble out of our heads and into the world. And having a coach in that process isn’t just helpful—it’s transformative. A coach can help us navigate the whirlwind of thoughts, reflect on what we’ve said, and provide the insights we need to grow.

So, if you’re someone who needs to speak to think, I encourage you to find a coach who gets that. Someone who understands that your ramblings are not meaningless, but rather the very steps you need to take to make sense of your world. Just as a coach helps clients grow, so too does a coach help us become the best versions of ourselves.