Regulating Your Nervous System – ‘Adulting’

This information was utterly new to me until my mid-40s. For years, I searched through so many different solutions for emotional healing (without quite thinking of it in those terms). The approaches that provided me with some semblance of a solution included Internal Family Systems (IFS), polyvagal theory, therapy, yoga, and meditation….. I didn’t fully understand why these methods worked, but I sensed they were pointing me in the right direction.

Eventually, I realised that the solution was fairly simple: it was my responsibility as an adult to regulate my nervous system.

Why Don’t We Know This?

Many of us are unaware of the importance of nervous system regulation due to a variety of factors. Traditional approaches to mental health often focus on problem-solving and identifying issues rather than teaching us how to care for our emotional and physiological well-being. Society frequently emphasises the need to fix problems, leading us to overlook the foundational need for self-care and self-regulation.

How Did I Find Out?

My journey felt convoluted as I tried countless methods to identify and fix my emotional struggles. I spent years in therapy sessions, convinced that I needed to uncover deep-seated issues. Each approach offered wonderful hits of clarity, yet I was often left in the cycle, chasing problems rather than recognising the underlying need for self-regulation.

It wasn’t until I began to explore concepts like polyvagal theory and IFS that I started to understand how my nervous system operated and its role in my emotional health. This learning process was long-winded, but it ultimately led me to a crucial realisation: caring for my nervous system was my responsibility as an adult.

Why Do Others Not Know?

Many people, like me, may find themselves caught in the cycle of seeking external validation or solutions without realising that self-regulation is within their own control. There’s often a lack of education around the nervous system and its significance in emotional well-being. Without this knowledge, individuals might spend years in therapy searching for answers instead of learning how to nurture their own nervous health.

How Do People Regulate Their Nervous Systems?

While there are various methods for regulating the nervous system, the truth is that everyone has their own unique path. Here are some approaches that I’ve found helpful;

  1. Awareness of Your Body and Emotions
    • Body Awareness: Regularly check in with how your body feels. Notice areas of tension, discomfort, or relaxation. This can help you identify when you’re becoming disregulated.
    • Emotional Awareness: Recognise and label your emotions. Understanding what you’re feeling can help you respond rather than react.
  2. Breathing Techniques
    • Deep Breathing: Practice diaphragmatic breathing or slow, deep breaths to activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which promotes relaxation.
  3. Creating a Safe Environment
    • Curate Your Space: Surround yourself with calming elements—gentle music, soft lighting, and natural elements can help create a soothing atmosphere.
    • Limit Stimuli: Reducing loud noises, harsh lighting, and chaotic environments can help you maintain a regulated state.
  4. Mindfulness and Meditation
    • Mindfulness Practices: Engage in mindfulness meditation or body scans to ground yourself and promote present-moment awareness.
    • Yoga: Gentle yoga can help integrate body awareness and breathing, aiding in nervous system regulation.
  5. Movement and Physical Activity
    • Gentle Movement: Activities like walking, stretching, or dancing can help release built-up tension and regulate your emotions. Also self touch practises and divine feminine movement practises.
    • Exercise: Regular physical activity boosts endorphins and helps regulate stress levels as do meditative self touch practises. I love sharing these practises.
  6. Self-Compassion and Acceptance
    • Practice Self-Compassion: Allow yourself to feel without judgement. Recognising that it’s okay to be out of alignment helps in returning to a regulated state.
    • Avoid Perfectionism: Accept that fluctuations in mood and energy are normal parts of being human.
  7. Connection and Support
    • Social Connections: Spending time with supportive friends or family can help regulate your nervous system. Talk about your feelings and experiences with those you trust.
    • Therapeutic Support: Engaging with therapists who understand nervous system regulation can provide valuable tools and insights.
  8. Nutrition and Hydration
    • Balanced Diet: Eating regular, nutritious meals supports overall physical and mental health, impacting your nervous system positively.
    • Stay Hydrated: Dehydration can contribute to feelings of fatigue and irritability, so ensure you’re drinking enough water.
  9. Sleep Hygiene
    • Prioritise Sleep: Quality sleep is essential for emotional regulation. Establish a bedtime routine and create a sleep-conducive environment.
    • Avoid Stimulants: Limiting caffeine and screen time before bed can help improve sleep quality.
  10. Nature Exposure
  • Spend Time Outdoors: Nature has a calming effect on the nervous system. Whether it’s a walk in the park or simply sitting outside, connecting with nature can help ground you.
  1. Routine and Structure
  • Establish a Routine: Having a daily routine can create a sense of stability and predictability, which is comforting for the nervous system.
  • Set Boundaries: Know your limits and communicate them to others. This helps reduce overwhelm and promotes a sense of safety.

As much as anything it’s now a case of me just reminding myself to listen to my heart and regulate myself. Being around people who also prioritise this. People who love me as I am and know that this is a thing. I am so blessed now. I want to offer this to you too.

Conclusion

The journey towards emotional well-being doesn’t have to be complicated. By prioritising the regulation of our nervous systems, we can reclaim our emotional balance and sense of agency. I encourage you to embrace this empowering approach and take control of your own nervous health.