In the world of Internal Family Systems (IFS), we’ve come to understand the importance of embracing and listening to our parts—those internal voices and feelings that represent different aspects of our psyche. We’ve learned that none of these parts are inherently “bad,” and that they all have good intentions, even if their methods can sometimes feel overwhelming or disruptive.
A beautiful and simple practice I recently came across offers a powerful way to calm your anxious parts when they become loud or overwhelming—especially when thoughts start spiralling or the body feels tense. It’s a practice rooted in somatic work, which focuses on using the body to access healing and trust.
When you feel anxiety building, and those parts inside of you are shouting for attention or protection, try this:
1. Hold Your Head with Your Hands.
Physically place your hands on your head, either gently cupping it or resting them on your temples. This simple touch can immediately create a sense of connection and comfort. The act of physically holding your head can feel like you’re providing gentle support to your nervous system.
2. Speak to Your Parts with Kindness.
As you hold your head, say to the anxious thoughts or voices, “I know you’re trying to help me.” Acknowledge their intentions. Even when the messages or feelings feel overwhelming or repetitive, remind them that they’re here because they care for you, even if their methods aren’t always what you want.
3. Reassure and Love Your Parts.
Next, gently say, “I love you. I know you want to keep me safe and help me.” Offer words of reassurance like, “I’m here for you. I love you, and I’m listening to you.” This practice serves as a reminder that your inner parts are not separate from you; they are integral to who you are, and they are here to help you navigate life in their own way.
4. Make This a Daily Practice.
This isn’t a one-time fix; it’s a practice that can help rewire the way you engage with your inner parts over time. Try making it a daily ritual. By consistently practicing this, you can help foster a deeper trust in yourself and in your body, encouraging a greater sense of safety and calm.
5. Reassure Your Body.
If you notice your chest fluttering or tightness in your body, reassure it in the same way. Speak to your body: “I love you. You are safe. You’re okay.” Trust that your body is doing its best to protect you, even if its reactions seem disproportionate in the moment.
Why This Works:
This somatic practice works because it nurtures both the mind and body. Holding your head and speaking kindly to your parts creates a sense of safety and care in the nervous system. It’s an invitation for your body to relax and trust that you, as the conscious adult, are in charge of your internal world. Instead of fighting the anxiety or pushing it away, you’re offering your anxious parts a sense of compassion and care, which calms both the mind and the body.
The beauty of this practice lies in the simplicity and consistency of offering reassurance to yourself. You’re telling your inner parts, “I’m on your side. You’re safe with me.” This connection with yourself builds emotional resilience over time, creating an internal environment where you can trust both your thoughts and your body.
If you feel overwhelmed by anxiety or racing thoughts, give this practice a try. By regularly offering comfort and love to your parts, you can cultivate a deeper sense of peace and trust in your own healing process.
Jen May is a passionate coach specialising in female empowerment and self-expression. She is dedicated to guiding women to follow their wild hearts and discover new pathways to freedom and strength. With over 20 years of experience in the entertainment industry, Jen brings rich expertise to her coaching practice. She is certified in NLP(ABNLP), EFT, TFT(ATFT), Life Coaching(MASC), and Hypnotherapy(ABH).
Jen invites you to embrace the mystery of life, to connect with the wildness of your soul, the depth of your emotions, and the power of your unique voice. Together, you will explore the beauty of being fully alive, embracing the challenges and joys of life with an open and resilient heart. Her coaching is a profound call to transformation, to find your voice, and to step into the light of your true Self.