What Makes You Feel Alive? What feeds your spirit?

It’s so easy for life to become sitting behind a screen, cleaning, tidying, worrying, paying the bills….. years can go by….trying to be productive….and we wonder why we feel depressed?

We need to know what we love and we need to make space for it in our lives.

I love lying on the grass looking at the sky. Feeling the sun on my face. Wearing bright colours. Feeling free. Cuddles and laughter and being silly. Jacuzzi bubbles and booze in my mouth. Long walks in the sunshine. Truth. Deep conversations. Passionate people, artists. People who get excited about things. I love learning. I like new experiences. I like being treated kindly.

I love Anne Sexton, Jimi Hendrix, Roger Waters, John Coltrane, Maria Callas, Nina Simone, Dash Snow, Tracey Emin, John Lennon, Yoko Ono, Leonard Cohen. Martin Luther King, Jesus, Buddha, Cy Twombly, Velvet Underground, Nick Cave, Schoenberg, Vaughan Williams, Gus Van Sant, Sean Penn, Doors, Nirvana, Tori Amos, Francesca Woodman…..

I like the smell of lavender and little twinkly lights. I love Thailand and Bali and Morocco and India. I love being somewhere beautiful. I like recognising that life is a sacred journey. I like rebellion, philosophy, freedom, poetry, ethics, songwriting, photography, stream of consciousness, brilliant ideas, freedom from shame, compassion…….I actually love the gym. Alkaline foods. Minimalism. I like wearing high heels, early mornings, adventure. Smelling roses. Shakespeare in the park drinking champagne and eating strawberries. …….Midnight feasts and outdoor fires.

There is so much to love…..

If you’re feeling down or lonely or sad or depressed, how much of what you love are you putting into your life?

I’ve had times in my life where I’ve been desperately unhappy and I only have the perspective with time to see how little was being put in. How dead the days were. How boring the admin was. How depleting the relationship was.

It’s easy to forget who we are and what we need. It’s easy to focus on fixing ourselves rather than putting into our lives the things that just naturally fill us up. Yes we want to be productive but we also want to enjoy the journey. Otherwise the end goal wasn’t worth a thing.

The things I love are:

  • Sensory
  • Relational
  • Aesthetic
  • Romantic
  • Present-focused

Absorption.

Lying in water.
Looking into someone’s eyes.
Dancing at midnight.
Listening to music.
Reading about art.
Falling in love for a night.

In all of those moments, I’m not striving. I’m immersed.

When I’m exhausted I’m spending too much time; being useful, being knowledgeable, being responsible. The experiences that nourish me are about beauty, intimacy, curiosity, and surrendering to the moment.

There is a mismatch between what pays the bills and what feeds my spirit.

I need:

  • Art
  • Beauty
  • Music
  • Conversation
  • Desire
  • Mystery
  • Human connection
  • A certain intensity of experience

What makes you feel alive?

When you know the answers (which are often quite simple) you can begin to build your life around them. Not a perfect life. Not a life free from responsibilities. But a life that contains enough beauty, wonder, truth, connection, adventure and freedom that we remember what it means to be alive, here, now, together.

#productivity #feelingalive #depression #overcomingdepression #areasontolive #openingtopleasure #putsomethingin #runningonempty