Have you ever caught yourself thinking:
“I’ll never be good enough.”
“I can’t do this.”
“They’re going to judge me.”
It feels like truth.
But it isn’t always coming from the part of you that’s actually here.
There are voices in you.
Some of them are learned.
Some of them are reactive.
And one of them is present.
If you don’t stop to notice the difference, they blur together.
And then everything feels like you.
This is where the confusion starts.
We take in thousands of messages early on. Ways of behaving. Ways of being. What’s acceptable. What isn’t. These form an internal voice that can guide, criticise, or try to keep things under control.
You can hear it.
Sometimes it’s harsh:
“You should be doing more.”
“You’re being silly.”
“You’re lazy.”
“You’re too sensitive.”
“You’re overreacting.”
“You don’t need help — just get on with it.”
Sometimes it sounds kinder:
“You’re making progress.”
“You’re allowed to make mistakes.”
“You don’t need to be perfect to be lovable.”
“It’s okay to rest.”
“One step is enough.”
Still, it’s telling you how to be.
Then there’s the part of you that reacts.
Fast. Emotional. Immediate.
“I hate this.”
“I’m not enough.”
“I want to disappear.”
This isn’t thought through. It’s felt. It takes over quickly, before anything has been checked.
Most of the time, these two run things.
One tells you what you should be.
The other reacts when you think you’re not.
And then there’s something else.
Quieter.
Not trying to control you.
Not trying to reassure you.
Not trying to fix anything.
Just aware.
It doesn’t rush to judgement.
It doesn’t collapse.
It doesn’t attack.
It looks at what’s actually here.
You could call that the adult part of you.
But it often isn’t the one speaking.
If you slow it down, you can hear the difference.
The learned voice.
The reactive voice.
And the part of you that’s actually present.
So when everything gets loud — when you feel stuck, shamed, panicked, or pulled into a reaction — pause.
Ask:
Who’s talking?
And then:
What do I actually know right now?
That’s the shift.
Not fixing the thought.
Not forcing a better one.
Just separating what’s happening from the voice that’s running it.
Because when that part of you is present, things change.
Jen May is a passionate coach specialising in female empowerment and self-expression. She is dedicated to guiding women to follow their wild hearts and discover new pathways to freedom and strength. With over 20 years of experience in the entertainment industry, Jen brings rich expertise to her coaching practice. She is certified in NLP(ABNLP), EFT, TFT(ATFT), Life Coaching(MASC), and Hypnotherapy(ABH).
Jen invites you to embrace the mystery of life, to connect with the wildness of your soul, the depth of your emotions, and the power of your unique voice. Together, you will explore the beauty of being fully alive, embracing the challenges and joys of life with an open and resilient heart. Her coaching is a profound call to transformation, to find your voice, and to step into the light of your true Self.