Recently, I found myself on a beautiful retreat that promised enlightenment and personal growth. While the experience itself was profoundly beautiful, I couldn’t help but notice a few dissonances in the teachings of our so-called ‘guru’.
Statements like “We are completely ignorant, ignorant on all levels”, “You must open your mind”. “You are resistant, you must break through the resistance.” Hmm…this guru, enveloped in a cocoon of non-disputers, proclaimed our collective ignorance, only to then make statements about how we should be instead!? How does he know? …..And does he recognise how dangerous black and white thinking is? “You are this”…”you are not that!”
Celebrating Humanity
Here’s the thing: to declare that you know what’s best (because you’ve been told presumably by a higher power or something) I think is a bit dangerous. There were so many people on the retreat trying to resist their resistance, which in my humble, ‘ignorant opinion’, ignores the very essence of being human. Celebrating our humanity—with all its messiness and resistance, is surely truly non-resistance?
The Power of Autonomy
It strikes me that life is far healthier with a balanced perspective—yes it’s just my opinion; a little bit of this, a little bit of that. It’s about having the autonomy to find our path, not just jotting down a master’s words as if they are the ultimate truth. Watching fellow retreat-goers scribble diligently, distressing over their inability to ‘drop their resistance’ etc, I couldn’t help but feel this isn’t what personal growth has to be about. Being human is not about being perpetually ‘okay’ or achieving some fabricated state of constant happiness/or divine level; it’s about being authentically us, resistances and all.
Embracing Balance
Throughout the years, I’ve noticed that black and white thinking can seriously complicate life. It’s something I’ve been quite good at, and it’s taken a lot of self-awareness and effort to recognise and improve upon this tendency. That’s why I believe so strongly in balance. It’s not just about listening to others; it’s equally about listening to ourselves. So when I say ‘be your own guru’, it’s doesn’t mean shut your ears to the world, but you do know at least equally as much as anyone else does about you and your life and what’s best for you. If you’ve yet to hear your own heart clearly there are practises which can get you to open to your intuition.
Reflecting on Authenticity
During the retreat, I started to find the pervasive clichés, which don’t get me wrong, were absolutely beautiful; the incense burning, the hours of chanting, the beautiful yoga, juxtaposed against the backdrop of social and racial contrasts—the middle-class white attendees in their Instagram-ready outfits versus the local people engaged in hard, physical work—it left me questioning. There were moments when it felt almost performative, maybe I am just speaking for myself. It was beautiful, it served a wonderful purpose, everyone is entitled to do whatever they please. I definitely got something from it. But I was also left with questions about the whole stinking truth of life (which I am so grateful for). I think that’s fair to say.
Conclusion
So, to anyone reading this: remember, being your own guru doesn’t mean disregarding all external advice. Rather, it’s about critically assessing it, finding your equilibrium, and most importantly, honouring your journey, wherever it may lead. Here’s to celebrating every step, stumble, and leap along the way—because in the grand tapestry of life, every thread counts.
Jen May is a passionate coach specialising in female empowerment and self-expression. She is dedicated to guiding women to follow their wild hearts and discover new pathways to freedom and strength. With over 20 years of experience in the entertainment industry, Jen brings rich expertise to her coaching practice. She is certified in NLP(ABNLP), EFT, TFT(ATFT), Life Coaching(MASC), and Hypnotherapy(ABH).
Jen invites you to embrace the mystery of life, to connect with the wildness of your soul, the depth of your emotions, and the power of your unique voice. Together, you will explore the beauty of being fully alive, embracing the challenges and joys of life with an open and resilient heart. Her coaching is a profound call to transformation, to find your voice, and to step into the light of your true Self.