External Processors & Allowing Others Space Too

External processors find clarity in verbalising feelings and thoughts, often needing interaction to reach conclusions or to solidify their understanding of a situation. In contrast, internal processors prefer to think things through quietly inside their head. They are more likely to reflect deeply before speaking and may seek solitude to work through their thoughts effectively. I am an external processor (to the max!). Whilst we can’t really change our tendency we can incorporate tools into our lives to ensure we’re not overwhelming ourselves or others.

1. Journaling: Creating Space for Reflection

Journaling is a powerful tool for external processors. It acts as a surrogate listener, allowing you to spill out thoughts without fear of judgement or overload. Start with daily entries, focusing on what’s top of mind. This can evolve into more structured approaches, like bullet journals or gratitude journals, depending on what resonates most with your needs.

2. To-Do Lists and Goal Setting

External processors often find clarity in vocalising tasks and ambitions. Transform this into a practice by maintaining to-do lists and setting clear, achievable goals. Apps like Todoist or traditional planners can help keep track of daily tasks. For goals, consider a tiered approach: short-term, medium-term, and long-term. This method helps in visualising a path from present actions to future aspirations, making them more tangible and manageable.

3. Mindfulness and Meditation

Though it might seem counterintuitive for those accustomed to constant mental activity, meditation can be incredibly beneficial. It trains the mind to focus and reduce the volume of intrusive thoughts. Start with guided meditations, perhaps using apps like Headspace or Calm, which can help ease the transition into silence and stillness. Regular practice, even for just a few minutes a day, can significantly enhance mental clarity and peace.

4. Physical Exercise: Connecting with the Body

Physical activity is another excellent way for external processors to manage their mental flow. Exercise demands focus and coordination, pulling attention away from relentless thoughts and grounding it in bodily sensations. Whether it’s yoga, running, or team sports, find an activity that you enjoy and that requires your full attention.

5. Practice of Silence and Appreciation

Dedicating time to silence can be transformative. Set aside a few minutes each day to sit quietly, absorb your surroundings, and simply be. During these moments, practise gratitude. Reflect on what you appreciate in your life right now, which can shift focus from overwhelming thoughts to a state of contentment and appreciation.

6. Self-Championing and Positive Affirmations

For external processors, self-doubt can be a frequent visitor. To combat this, develop a habit of positive affirmations. Reinforce your self-worth and achievements by acknowledging them out loud or writing them down. This practice can fortify your confidence and reduce the need for external validation.

7. Structured Social Interactions

Ensure you’re getting enough time around friends to chat freely.

It’s essential in relationships not to overwhelm your partner, especially if they have a different processing style to your own! Allow them space. Allow them the autonomy to not listen or reply if it’s not important. They need to re-fill their own energetic cups too. It’s OK to be imperfect – these skills rely on open communication, failure, eventual success and love.