“It’s Not Who You Truly Are” – Moana

In this great voyage of life, we all have moments when we play different parts. Sometimes we are Moana, brave and resilient, venturing out to sea to heal others. Sometimes we might unwittingly become Te Kā, acting out of pain rather than our true selves. Recognising this can be profound, as it highlights that we all have the capacity for both hurt and healing.

Healing Through Compassion

Moana’s story powerfully illustrates the transformative effect of compassion. When she returns the heart to Te Fiti, she reveals that Te Kā, the creature of fire and ash, was actually Te Fiti all along—a goddess whose essence was lost to hurt and heartache. This act of understanding and compassion not only heals Te Fiti but also restores life to the islands.

Like Moana, we can choose to see beyond the immediate expressions of pain in others and ourselves. This understanding, however, does not imply remaining in harmful situations. While we strive to understand the roots of behaviour that arises from pain, maintaining healthy boundaries is crucial. It’s possible to feel compassion for someone while also choosing to separate ourselves, take care of ourselves.

Forgiveness: A Path to Peace

Forgiveness, both of ourselves and others, is a critical step in healing. It doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing hurtful actions; it means liberating ourselves from the burden of ongoing resentment and pain. Forgiving ourselves is equally important. We must acknowledge that while we might have played the role of Te Kā at times, we are capable of change and growth. This self-forgiveness is not a conclusion but a starting point—a commitment to do better and to be better.

Embracing Our Journeys with Love

Every story of hurt is also a story of survival and resilience. Having love for our journey, as well as for what others have endured, allows us to embrace our full experiences with empathy and depth. This love doesn’t just heal; it transforms. It turns our darkest moments into lessons of strength and our interactions into opportunities for deep connection.

Returning to Our Hearts

The essence of our journey is about coming back to our hearts. Internal Family Systems (IFS) aligns beautifully with this, teaching us that healing involves understanding the different parts of ourselves and reintegrating them into our core self—our true, compassionate, and whole self. This return to our hearts is not just a healing for ourselves but also an offering of peace to the world around us.

Over the last few months I’ve been travelling around Asia and I feel like I’ve found a part of me that I’d been disconnected with for so long. A part of my nature that needed to express itself. Through challenge and heartache, independence and love. It took time to settle into the flow of this journey but I feel more like me, more connected to my heart and my voice.

A Journey of Understanding

Each of us is on a journey, much like Moana’s—a voyage toward healing our hearts and, when possible, helping others along the way. By applying IFS and embodying the empathy shown by Moana, we not only navigate our internal struggles with greater ease but also learn to interact with the world in a way that promotes healing and understanding.

We all play different roles, but they don’t define us; rather, they teach us about our complexity and capacity for change. It’s important to remember that while we can strive for understanding, we also have the right to distance ourselves from those who harm us. Understanding someone’s pain does not obligate us to endure it.