This is a squeeze of the hand to every woman who has ever felt undervalued, and a guide to not accepting the crumbs in favour of the feast that life truly has to offer.
I know this situation well, it’s complicated isn’t it. We know we deserve the respect, love, and recognition we do not deny others but It’s all too easy to find ourselves accepting less than we deserve. And it’s all about self-worth.
Recognising the Crumbs
Crumbs can manifest in various forms – the partner who doesn’t listen, the friend who takes more than they give, the employer who expects the world but offers little in return, the client who doesn’t respect our time. It’s the minimal effort from others that we convince ourselves is enough, because we fear asking for what’s right might result in having nothing at all. But in accepting these crumbs, we undervalue our worth and compromise our standards. And this effects others too.
The Fear of Emptiness
Why do we settle for crumbs? Often, it’s rooted in fear – fear of loneliness, fear of confrontation, fear of change. It’s the trepidation that asserting our worth might lead to loss. But it’s crucial to ask ourselves: is clinging to these fragments truly better than the possibility of receiving more? Loss can be daunting, but it creates space – space for growth, for new opportunities, for others to step up (and they need to hear this as much as you need to learn to express it) or step out and for something better to enter.
Cultivating Self-Worth
Self-worth is the cornerstone of refusing crumbs. It’s about knowing your value independently of external validation. Cultivating self-worth starts with self-compassion, recognising your strengths, and forgiving yourself for past acceptance of less. It’s a journey of self-discovery, where you learn to nourish your needs, desires, and dreams.
Setting Boundaries
Boundaries are the physical manifestation of self-worth. They communicate to others how we expect to be treated. Setting boundaries might initially feel uncomfortable, especially if you’re not used to asserting yourself. But each boundary set is a building block in the fortress that protects your worth. Remember, those who truly value you will respect these boundaries. I’ve added a short methodology below this blog.
The Feast Awaits
Refusing crumbs is not a denial of sustenance but a refusal to settle for less than you deserve. It’s an affirmation of your worth and a commitment to seeking out the feast life has to offer. This feast is rich with fulfilling relationships, rewarding work, and a profound sense of self-acceptance. It’s there, waiting for you, beyond the crumbs.
Embracing Change
Change is inevitable when you start to assert your worth. Relationships may shift, career paths may alter, but these changes are transformative. They open the door to a life where you’re not just surviving on scraps but thriving on a banquet that reflects your true value.
A Call to Arms
So, to every woman reading this: know your worth. You are deserving of love, respect, and fulfillment in every facet of your life. Do not settle for less out of fear or habit. The world is abundant, and you are worthy of its riches. Let’s not accept crumbs. Let’s demand the feast.
In embracing our worth, we not only elevate our own lives but set a precedent for the women around us. It’s a ripple effect of empowerment, a testament to the strength that lies in refusing to accept anything less than we deserve. Let this be your mantra, your guiding light, and watch as the universe unfolds its bounty before you.
A Method To Gently Asserting Boundaries.
- Identify Your Boundaries: Understand your limits and values.
- Communicate Clearly: Express your boundaries directly.
- Use “I” Statements: Frame needs from your perspective, e.g., “I need quiet time in the evenings.”
- Set Consequences: Make clear what will happen if boundaries are crossed, like ending a conversation if criticism continues.
- Start Small: Begin with easier boundaries to build confidence.
- Practice Self-Respect: Remind yourself that your needs are valid.
- Maintain Consistency: Enforcing boundaries consistently reinforces their importance.
- Anticipate Resistance: Be prepared to reassert boundaries firmly if challenged.
- Seek Support: Sometimes, a conversation with a friend can bolster your resolve.
- Engage in Self-Care: Replenish your energy through activities that support your well-being.
No Need To Be Perfect –
Start Small – Small Steps in the Right Direction
I’ve noticed that for me, the most helpful thing in setting boundaries is to remind myself of the principles mentioned above. Taking a walk or giving myself some time to consider the right, gentle, and loving language for both myself and others, then taking a small step in the right direction, has been beneficial. We don’t need to be perfect! I also remind myself of the wonderful role models in my life who have exemplified this approach.
Conclusion
Asserting boundaries is about ensuring your own growth and well-being, as much as it is about managing how others treat you. Remember, it’s a form of self-care that allows you to thrive.
Jen May is a passionate coach specialising in female empowerment and self-expression. She is dedicated to guiding women to follow their wild hearts and discover new pathways to freedom and strength. With over 20 years of experience in the entertainment industry, Jen brings rich expertise to her coaching practice. She is certified in NLP(ABNLP), EFT, TFT(ATFT), Life Coaching(MASC), and Hypnotherapy(ABH).
Jen invites you to embrace the mystery of life, to connect with the wildness of your soul, the depth of your emotions, and the power of your unique voice. Together, you will explore the beauty of being fully alive, embracing the challenges and joys of life with an open and resilient heart. Her coaching is a profound call to transformation, to find your voice, and to step into the light of your true Self.