Letting Go in Friendships

Having previously explored the theme of letting go within romantic relationships, it’s vital to extend this discussion to friendships. Just as we evolve, so too must our friendships. I am definitely not saying that we need to look for perfection in our friends – we are all flawed. But I am saying that if interactions are continually forced or unenjoyable it may be time to trust your emotional instincts and adjust your social circles for your well-being.

Understanding and Trusting Your Feelings
Trusting your own feelings and acknowledging discomfort are pivotal in steering you towards more fulfilling interactions. It is important to realise that feeling out of place or drained in certain company is not merely a personal fault but can often be indicative of the friendship’s dynamic.

Self-Judgment & When to Let Go
Frequently, we judge ourselves harshly within our friendships—criticising ourselves for “not being fun”, for “being moody”, or for failing to always engage cheerfully. However, maybe you’re not being fun because you’re not having fun, be honest! The issue might lie in the nature of the friendship rather than with you. Key indicators that it might be time to let go include persistent feelings of exhaustion post-interactions, recurring disrespect, or a profound misalignment in values, people simply no longer having shared interests.

Different Perspectives and Their Limits
Engaging with a variety of perspectives is crucial for growth. However, if such exchanges routinely leave you feeling depleted, it may signal the need to reassess their place in your life. It’s healthy to maintain boundaries in friendships that demand too much or fail to contribute positively to your emotional well-being.

Practical Steps – If you don’t like something change it!

  • Evaluate Your Feelings and Needs: Reflect on the specific reasons the friendship is no longer beneficial. Understanding your emotions will guide your decisions and actions.
  • Communicate Openly: If possible, express your feelings honestly and respectfully. A conversation can help both parties understand the situation and provide closure (this isn’t essential, I personally prefer to use step 3!)
  • Gradually Reduce Contact: If direct communication isn’t an option or is too difficult, start by decreasing your interactions. This can include being less active in shared digital spaces, and declining invitations more frequently.
  • Set and Enforce Boundaries: Sometimes, keeping friendships at arm’s length is simpler than managing intense, close connections. If the closeness in a friendship becomes stifling, setting clear boundaries is essential. Communicate your needs clearly—allowing you both space.
  • Focus on Self-Care: Prioritise activities that enhance your well-being. Spend time with supportive friends and family, and engage in hobbies that make you feel fulfilled and happy.
  • Reflect on Positive Outcomes: Concentrate on the benefits of ending the friendship, such as relief from stress, more energy for personal growth, and the opportunity to forge new, healthier relationships.

Conclusion
Humans are imperfect but if you’re continually left feeling depleted it could be time for a change.