Letting Go of the Need to Be Perfect

Are you a perfectionist? Sometimes we can hold ourselves to very unrealistic expectations. I had a conversation  with my coach about this very thing this week. I admitted that I felt I had “got it wrong twice” at work, I expected her to offer my some sympathy but instead she took me by surprise and offered a much-needed perspective shift. When I mentioned these errors occurred over the span of 20 years, she remarked that it was amazing, “wow only twice!”. “That’s an immaculate record!”. I suddenly changed my thinking, wow, it really is! It made me think of the outrageously unrealistic standards I hold myself too. I really don’t accept anything less than 5 stars of myself in anything. It really made me think.

The Weight of Perfection

Mistakes are an integral part of the human experience. They are not only inevitable but also essential for growth and learning. Yet, the fear of getting it wrong can paralyse us, preventing us from taking risks or trying new things. No one is perfect, and expecting ourselves to be is a recipe for disappointment and unnecessary stress. My teacher’s reaction was a reminder that making mistakes is not only normal but also less frequent than we might perceive them to be. If two mistakes were all I could recall in two decades, perhaps I was doing better than I gave myself credit for. This insight was a gentle nudge to reassess how I viewed my own imperfections and the imperfections of others.

Learning to Let Go

Letting go of the need to be perfect is easier said than done, but it is a crucial step towards embracing our humanity and living a more fulfilling life. Here are a few strategies to help cultivate this mindset:

  • Recognise that mistakes are opportunities for growth.
  • Reassure the ‘perfectionist’ part of you; ‘I know you’re trying to keep me safe, thank you but ….I’m an adult now, it only needs to be ‘good enough’, I can cope, I’m resilient’. 
  • Keep perspective; making mountains out of molehills does not make for a fun filled life.
  • Stop trying to micro-manage your life, it doesn’t matter what people think, just do your best at the time(with healthy limits).

The Power of Vulnerability

Admitting our mistakes and vulnerabilities can be powerful. It opens the door to genuine connections with others, as it allows us to share our true selves, imperfections and all. In a culture that often celebrates only successes, being open about our faults can be both liberating and inspiring to those around us.

Conclusion

Striving for perfection is not only futile but also a barrier to living fully and authentically. As we navigate the complexities of life, let us remember that it is our imperfections that make us human. By embracing our flaws and learning from our mistakes, we can find greater joy, resilience, and connection in our lives.